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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Ego, Perceived Value, and Second Chances

Now I’ve been dissed before by Chick A because I assigned a lower amount of value to a dating situation at a particular time. And by the time I came around a year later, she was like “No way, you had your chance. And also, kill yourself.”

I’ve also been with Chick B who assigned a lower amount of value to our relationship than I did, and when she decided to come back around, I couldn’t be bothered. It’s not that I didn’t still have feelings for Chick B at the time, it’s just that my ego wouldn’t allow me to let myself be played by someone who had clearly demonstrated that our perceptions of each other’s value were very different. But it wasn’t until the situation with Chick B, that I totally understood Chick A’s reluctance to give us a try back in the day.

When a person makes a situation high-risk because of an unstable pattern of behavior, whether it’s being unfaithful, flighty, or refusing to commit, it makes it very difficult to trust that individual in the long run. Ego also makes it very hard to go back to someone who you feel has wronged you repeatedly or didn’t return your love for whatever reason. You risk looking like a dummy if that person messes up again, especially if you're a guy, where emotional slip-ups are less tolerable. No wonder second chances are so hard to come by.

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